"Allow me to explain. My name is John Hodgman; you live on the planet Earth; and everything is going to be fine."
Book I've read: More Information Than You Require
Author: John Hodgman (aka. The PC Guy)
My one-sentence-review: Funny, weird and random - not necessarily in that order.
My more-than-one-sentence review: A compilation of fake trivia and facts, More Information Than You Require is the sequel to Hodgman's first book, The Areas of My Expertise. Covering everything from politics (including a handy list of which former presidents had a hook for a hand) to the exploits of mole-men ("the race of humanoids who live in the complex warren of tunnels and vast caverns beneath the earth"), I mostly enjoyed reading the musings of a bespectacled, self-dubbed "famous minor television personality".
However, this review has a but. I enjoyed the book, but it took me a long time to get through it; there's a lot of randomness crammed inside. I enjoyed Hodgman's brand of humor (and his appearances on The Daily Show to boot) though, so I might still give its predecessor a try. In any case, dear reader, I've extracted the bits I found funniest and posted them here for your viewing pleasure.
A few things I have learned from this book:
-Exterminators never enter Yoko Ono's appartment. (page 343)
-When playing poker, if your opponent's face turns red, he is either ashamed of a weak hand or ready to mate. (page 388)
-In 1650, it was discovered that René Descartes was an android (or "un homme synthetique") and a Blade Runner was sent after him. (page 415)
-"The first French astronauts were snails and songbirds. When these various animals fell back to earth, the fiery reentry certainly made them delicious" (page 454)
On rats from How To Deal With Common Infestations:
"Unlike mice, rats are never cute. Do not listen to the Goth kid at the pet store. They are not nuturing parents or devoted companions. They are disgusting wingless pigeons that sleep in your toilet and give you the plague. You must kill them all. Do it with fire." (page 345)
From How To Remember Any Name, Especially The Name "John Hodgman":
"If you did not catch your companion's name, try calling them "PHIL". You may be surprised to learn that, statistically speaking, most people are named Phil. Even women. So it's worth a shot." (page 350)
From Possible Contacts With Alien Life:
-"In 1984, I went to see the movie Dune, and a girl spoke to me. I realize this seems impossible. But it is absolutely true." (page 465)
From Speaking Of Parasites, How Do I protect My Child From The Scourge of Head Lice?:
"There's really very little you can do. Getting head lice is a rite of passage among the young, like being kidnapped by pirates." (page 487)
"Hello, children. Stop fidgeting. I bet you thought you were alone in your body, but did you know that you have billions of microscopic and not-so-microscopic organisms living inside your body right this very moment?
Now, that may sound gross to you, and you'd be right: It's disgusting." (page 487)
Some days in history:
-July 3, 1983 - Newton, MA: The first suburban white child breakdances. (page 487)
-September 7, 1936 - Tasmania - After the success of the Tasmanian Devil, the Tasmanian government attempted to rebrand many of its native species as ferocious and uncrontrollable...[one was] the Tasmanian Wallaby of Infinite Danger. (page 553)
From What To Expect While Serving As A Juror:
"Once Sam Waterston has called all his witnesses and finished making his case, he will put his clothes back on." (page 499)
From The Mole-Men: Are They The New Hoboes?:
"Despite the conspiracy theories you may have read, the mole-men have never interbred with the British royal family or the Bush dynasty with the goal of infiltrating the highest reaches of government...you are thinking of the Belgians." (page 512)
From Some Lists I Confess To Compiling:
"Were you aware you could hit someone with a crocodile? It is so!" (page 564)
And last but not least, from 700 Mole-Man Names:
#670: Miss Centipeda Shroomsniffer
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