Welcome to my blog!
By some miracle of the Internet(s) you have arrived here and, if you're still reading this, you haven't left yet. So thanks!
Now, you may have one of the following questions:
- What is this blog about?
- Why should I continue reading?
- Who are you?
- How do I fend off a shark attack?
- Is he just not that into me?
Fear not, dear reader, for the answers to these questions shall be revealed below.
Q. Who are you?
A. I am a person. As such, this means I have (2) arms, (2) hands, (2) feet, (1) head (though this is a subject of frequent debate) and (1) torso, amongst other body parts. This also means that I am not robot. Unfortunately, I do not possess any superpowers. Other facts? I am female (given the template of this blog, I hope this does not surprise you), a lover of music, a hater of blinking-eye dolls (those things are creepy!) and a closet krumper.
Q. Oookay, weirdo. What is this blog about?
A. I'll take that as a compliment. This blog will host an amalgamation of my random thoughts, projects, news/music findings and nifty things. I make things sometimes, so I'll post them here when I do. I also read when I can, so I'll post book reviews along the way.
Q. Are you a poet and just don't know it?
A. See for yourself!
Roses are red, on them money I've spent
My fave TV show's Arrested Development.
Carrots are orange, grapefruits are pink
I hope it's not obvious that my poetry stinks.
Q. Wow, that stunk. I clearly see that you are not, in fact, a poet. Can you at least tell me how to fend off a shark attack?
A. 1) Defend your back from the shark.
2) Hit the shark on the side of the head.
3) Hit the end of the shark's nose.
4) Shove your hand in its gills.
5) Jab the shark in the eye, preferably with something sharp.
6) Escape and treat any wounds immediately.
Q. Wow! What legitimate-sounding advice? Have you fought off sharks before?
A. Sadly, no. I came by this information in Show Me How: 500 Things You Should Know by Derek Fagerstrom and Lauren Smith. This book is now the bane of my existence. (Well not really, but I always wanted to say that about something.)
Q. I need some life advice - is he just not that into me?
A. Yes.
Q. How do you know?
A. Well, if you have to ask...
Q. Now that you've given me that bad news, why should I continue reading?
A. You shouldn't. Turn off the computer, it's a beautiful day outside. Go on, get out there!
Still reading? Well then you obviously have the answer to that question :)
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